ಠ_ಠ

It's rare that anything irritates me.

Fri, 10 May 2013 13:13:37 -0400

Things that do irritate me typically have good reason for it.

In this case, it was a nearly mob-like behavior toward my Padawan from other Jedi.

I will grant that a handful were simply discussing Juyo form in general, and were not directing their conversation directly at him, and at least one of the people speaking tried to remind the others that they were addressing a Padawan in a very aggressive manner though, unfortunately, it didn’t seem many heard her.

The others, including Geviana (which was disappointing) directed specific statements at Ehlial, informing him that he had a Master ranging from irresponsible to stupid to downright awful, that he was going to (not that there was a risk, that it was an almost guaranteed fact) fall to the Dark side if he continued, and left him with the impression that his opinion on the matter did NOT matter because he is only a Padawan.

They may not have said that directly, but the few times he tried to defend himself or suggest that his Master wouldn’t allow the training if he felt there was an unreasonable risk, he was shouted down.

I don’t mind what was said in regards to me; I am an adult and a Jedi Master, and they’re entitled to form whatever opinions they have of me based on either fact or facts they just made up.

I do mind when supposed Jedi Knights and Masters nearly gang up on a Padawan who did nothing but try to join in in an ongoing discussion about various lightsaber forms.

That behavior is unacceptable from anyone, but especially so from Jedi.

They lash out based on fear of a lightsaber form that requires more control and ability to detach from allowing emotions to have a personal affect than most people are capable of doing; that fear is, unfortunately, instilled as part of the warnings when it comes to learning lightsaber forms, and it tends to manifest itself in perceived ‘anger’ toward people who use it successfully.

A combination of fear of what would happen if they tried and jealousy and resentment that someone they don’t feel should be successful (in this case, a Padawan) at something they themselves weren’t strong enough to be successful with and—I spend the past two days between myself and Al’dien helping Ehlial rebuild his shaken confidence in himself and in other Jedi.

Geviana, at least, had the good sense to apologize for her behavior toward Ehlial once she managed to calm herself.

Perhaps it’s not irritation I’m experiencing so much as it is profound disappointment.

Tea Time

Mon, 18 Feb 2013 14:19:00 -0500

“Master Azi’xoss.” Bi’ev bowed stiffly, the motion as forced as the pleasant tone of his greeting.

‘Don’t say Darth Bees. Don’t say Darth Bees.’ The thought alone caused Azi’xoss to smile. It just so happened that he’d been lucky enough to have the timing coincide with the Sith’s clipped greeting, “Darth Aculaetus. Always a pleasure, I’m sure.”

Azi’xoss was not entirely certain why Bi’ev had asked to meet with him, though he fully understood the implication of meeting on Voss and in the center of Voss-Ka.

No hostilities.

Almost a pity, their last encounter had been, from Azi’xoss’ point of view, highly entertaining and ending with Bi’ev being stuck in the air until long after Azi’xoss had left the abandoned mining facility. He wouldn’t be able to get away with that sort of thing here; not without infuriating the Voss and causing a massive headache (not to mention strategic loss) for the Republic. The thought that the Sith would be operating under the same restrictions left Azi’xoss with very little trepidation over the requested meeting.

Besides, you don’t meet someone you plan to murder in a tea house. Usually.

“Bi’ev, please.”
The Pureblood forced a smile, “After all, this is a friendly meeting, is it not? No need for formalities.” He turned aside, motioning for Azi’xoss to enter the teahouse first. The Twi’lek brushed past him, bowing slightly as he did so.

Bi’ev couldn’t tell for certain if the Twi’lek’s expression had shifted from—anything, really. He wasn’t clear as to whether it was just the Jedi’s face or the tattooing around his eyes and mouth that made him appear perpetually vaguely irritated, even if he was smiling, by everything around him or if that was simply how his face actually appeared. Regardless, he couldn’t sense any actual anger or irritation coming from the Jedi, everything almost shrieked placid to the point that it didn’t even bother Bi’ev that something placid wouldn’t bother shrieking to begin with. Perhaps it was just his face.

Bi’ev shook his head slightly, following Azi’xoss to an empty table, “You had me in the position of an easy kill or capture and walked away. Why?” He kept his voice low, not wanting to cause any sort of disturbance in a Voss teahouse, though the undercurrent of the words rang clear.

“You were subdued.” The Twi’lek’s shoulders rolled in a lazy shrug as he settled down onto the cushions around the table, “Jedi do not kill a subdued foe.”

Bi’ev snorted and had to catch himself to keep from rolling his eyes, “Please—that’s hardly true, and we both know it.” He sunk down onto his own cushions, glowering at the table rather than across it for the moment, “And no capture. I can’t imagine your superiors were pleased about that, especially since it would have been so easy.”

“Death is a form of being subdued.” The Twi’lek stated matter-of-factly before continuing, “Initial capture, yes.” Azi’xoss leaned forward and poured himself a cup of tea, “But what of the aftermath? Turning someone like you would be difficult, if not impossible; those who turn turn because they wish to, not because they’re forced.”

He leaned back a bit, offering an appraising look in response to the glower, “Nothing in you suggests even a glimmer—”

The Twi’lek shrugged and took a sip, “Not to mention the issues it may have caused with your people. Hardly worth the headache, and what my superiors, as you put it, don’t know isn’t going to harm them in this case.”

A slow smile crept across his face, “And, as I recall, you managed to get free before I’d left and did nothing but hit me in the back with a blast of Force lightning. I might ask why you didn’t kill me, all things considered.”

Azi’xoss hadn’t missed the white flash of anger, despite the Sith’s attempt to conceal it. A slight, almost ghost of a smirk crossed his face as it passed, “Oh, come now, you’re not angry at all that I didn’t kill you, even Sith have some sense of self-preservation. You’re angry you weren’t able to manage the reverse.”

For a moment, it appeared to Azi’xoss that Bi’ev might simply forget the reality of being on Voss (and in Voss-Ka at that!). The Pureblood’s slender, gloved hand shot out toward the Twi’lek across the table, diverting at the last moment to grab a far too tight hold on a cup of tea from the tray in front of them. Azi’xoss watched passively until he was certain the Sith had no intentions of spitting either venomous words or lightning at him. For the moment, it seemed that the conversation hit a wall and he expected Bi’ev to simply stand and stomp off.

Focused as he was on the tea, Bi’ev remained aware of how infuriating his surroundings were, and that the Jedi across the table was watching him closely and carefully; it had been a mistake, an embarrassing mistake, the last time they had encountered one another, to think the Jedi an easy target. It would be a mistake to underestimate what the green, striped, annoying, calm, ridiculous-looking-curled-in-a-chair-like-that, miserable—Bi’ev smiled and set his cup of tea down with a practiced, calm motion.

“Perhaps.” The first word spoken carefully, testing the tone; he’d look ridiculous losing his temper in a tea house, of all places, especially with a table companion who at least managed the mask of calmly pleasant, “You enjoy that idea, don’t you? Or is it more the idea that you know damn well I wouldn’t have extended the same courtesy to you had the roles been reversed and that gives you some sort of misplaced sense of superiority?”

“I don’t know that I’d call it misplaced,” Azi’xoss spoke more to the rim of his teacup than to Bi’ev, “Though I doubt you’d have killed me.” A clawed, green hand snatched one of the biscuits from the tray, “Seems more likely that you’d have made some sort of attempt to add me to your collection of Twi’lek, doesn’t it?”

Bi’ev opened his mouth to snap a reply, and just as quickly closed it. The damned Jedi was teasing him. He’d nearly missed it in the even tone, and had just scarecely caught the humorous glint in the Twi’lek’s eyes.

“Don’t be stupid.” Bi’ev reached out to pick up a biscuit as well, “I only keep Lethan and Rutian Twi’lek, even as apprentices. If I have to look at one of your kind, I may as well look at the prettier varieties.”

He took a bite and half-heartedly waved the now halved biscuit at Azi’xoss, “You’d wreck the color scheme. It wouldn’t do.”

Azi’xoss chuckled lightly, “How lucky for me, then. I’d only have been an inconvenience; you wouldn’t have been the first to try.”

“Almost a shame that you’re a Jedi,” Bi’ev snorted into his teacup. He leaned forward to pick up another biscuit from the dwindling pile.

“I’d say the same, but we’d both know it would be a lie.” Azi’xoss yawned, showing off a set of sharp, white teeth, and stretched, “You’d make a terrible Jedi, and they’d likely stick you with Padawans who exhibit behavior I doubt even a Sith would tolerate from an apprentice.”

Bi’ev paused, leaving his cup stuck mid-way through the motion of bringing it to his mouth, “I could have sworn the Jedi were staunchly against all forms of torture anyway. “

“Believe me, there are days—and students—who occasionally cause me to lament the fact that we’re not allowed to use harsh forms of punishment,” Azi’xoss answered flatly.

“Any holiday that involves fireworks tends to remind me of that.” He chuckled again, and his tone lifted, “You know, I’ve always wanted one of those chairs with the hovering cubes; I figure I could get away with one going awry and accidentally smacking something obnoxious upside the head with the excuse of, ‘You interrupted my meditation.’”

At that, Bi’ev couldn’t help but laugh. The idea of any Jedi using one of those ridiculous chairs for that purpose, he had to admit, was an amusing thought.

Their conversation continued for several hours, touching on anecdotes, philosophy, their respective students (with pertinent details left out, of course), the Voss, the Gree, and varying, yet somehow similar, Force and lightsaber combat techniques. After leaving the teahouse, guards on either side of the bridges leading from the Alien Marketplace to the Empire and Republic’s respective ‘areas’ of Voss-ka stood as a reminder that, regardless of any friendly conversation in Voss-ka, whatever pleasantness had occurred would remain confined to the enforced neutrality of a Voss teahouse and would likely not extend beyond it.

“May the Force be with you, Sith.” Azi’xoss bowed in a formal, sweeping mannner. ‘You’ll likely need it in the near future.’

“Force free you, Jedi.” Bi’ev returned the bow before turning to leave for the shuttle to the Imperial orbital station. ‘I don’t repeat mistakes; I’ll happily reunite you with the Force should the opportunity present itself a second time.’

Whoever thought giving fireworks to a bunch of Initiates ought to be dragged to the back of the Temple and...

Tue, 11 Dec 2012 14:47:43 -0500

…made to sit and meditate on what they’ve done.

While I sneak out there and set off a batch right behind them.

I swear, I’ve lost hearing in one ear.
For the moment, I’ll assume it’s temporary.

Brainwashed?

Thu, 06 Dec 2012 10:55:31 -0500

elevensins:

“Welcome back, Jedi, are they done properly indoctrinating you already?”

Ehlial stood there silently for a few stunned moments. Lord Crux had been in a mood ever since they had landed on Tython and he had remained aboard the ship. Even if the Council allowed him access to the temple grounds so long as he behaved, the stares and reproachful glances weren’t something he tolerated very well. Despite the long travel through hyperspace, he refused to join Ehlial down on the planet.

But this utterance was most unusual for the Sith. No matter how much Crux wanted to voice his disdain he usually kept it to himself or let it out in small cryptic murmurs when he thought the Miraluka wasn’t listening.

“I’m happy to see you, too, Lord Crux,” Ehlial replied simply and finished climbing the gangplank.

The Sith snorted, “So you have a sense of humor now? Did they implant that in you while you were down there or should I have the doctor check you for fever?”

“What has gotten into you lately? We’re still on Tython and that kind of talk is not going endear you to people around here.”

Read More

Does Azi’xoss have to have a stern talk with that bad tempered Sith man again? :|

The things I overhear on Tython.

Mon, 03 Dec 2012 10:45:00 -0500

I know it isn’t necessarily inappropriate to laugh but, really, when faced with a large crowd making announcements of how they’ve dissolved the Council and will be re-forming it within fourteen days, what other reaction is there that is appropriate?

My padawan, myself, a Corelllian Jedi named Gevi, and a mouthy initiate who goes by Vrek stood and watched for some time.

The group has some odd notions about the Jedi in general; evidently your lightsaber’s crystal color determines your path of study. I’m not entirely sure what that says about mine, considering it’s nearly pink. Magenta, if you’re in marketing. Pink if you’re simply not colorblind.

What’s more, they couldn’t keep it straight. The man who appeared to be in charge, told one Initiate that the color for “her path”, which she said was that of a Sage, was yellow. Not five minutes later, he told another who said the same thing that his color was purple, and yet another that theirs was blue.

In retrospect, we probably ought to have intervened; it can’t be good for those initiates to be sucked into a false ‘order’ like that. On the other hand, they were on Tython and it’s very possible that what was going on was some sort of test to weed out the exceptionally gullible initiates in this batch.

After we moved inside, Gevi and Vrek—it wasn’t even a conversation, it was mutual complaining between the two of them about how inane they think the Order is, then flipping back to how they didn’t mean it that way, whatever that means. Both of them have far too little control over their own emotional states to be useful as Jedi. She has unnatural attachments to droids, from what I can tall, and he gets angry if he’s even mildly frustrated. Yet, of course, the problem isn’t with them, STARS NO, it couldn’t be, they’re perfect in their own minds; no, no, the problem is, of course, the Order.

It makes me thankful that I have a Padawan who has some level of self-awareness and realizes that his failures are his failures and not a failure of the Order itself.

Mm.

Speaking of, I need to have a word with that Master Al’dien about—well, many things, based on my first impression of him, but mainly to ensure that he keeps his training to saber technique only and doesn’t try to impart whatever perverse interpretation of the code he has that allows him what I swear are inappropriate attachments to other people. He and that red Twi’lek were far, far too nervous in the presence of another Jedi Master (not to mention far too eager to leave as a pair), in this case myself, to not have an inappropriate attachment that ought to be severed for Master Al’dien’s own well being. I certainly don’t want a Jedi of that sort, who believes they’re somehow unique or special enough that they can pick and choose which parts of the Code to follow, trying to impart that philosophy onto my Padawan.

Of course, it won’t be worded that way. It would be incredibly stupid of me to word it that way.

I’ve had the chance, recently, to get away from Hoth and catch up with my Padawan. I do hope...

Mon, 19 Nov 2012 11:35:29 -0500

I’ve had the chance, recently, to get away from Hoth and catch up with my Padawan. I do hope he doesn’t feel he’s being neglected.

Regardless, we met on the Fleet, where he was in conversation with a couple of other people. Some young man who continually kept his hair in his eyes—far too tempting to tell him to get it cut or tie it back. Honestly…how does he even see to aim those blasters properly with all that hair in his face?

The other person present was a Lethan Twi’lek man, who seemed friendly, if a bit—uncomfortable around me. I never think of myself as the sort that would make someone else uncomfortable, especially since, physically, there is nothing to suggest it. Ah well, some get nervous around Jedi, I suppose.

Speaking of, another Jedi Master joined us, briefly, but left with the Twi’lek. I do hope nothing inappropriate is going on there; a Jedi should know better, after all.

Ehlial, as usual, had dozens of questions, very few of which were appropriate for discussion in a cantina. Many related to ‘issues’ he had heard of other Jedi having, wondering if he was somehow abnormal for not struggling with attachments. He may be lucky, in that regard, or he may simply be stronger and better trained than a good many of his (and my) peers.

Well, that's just lovely.

Mon, 29 Oct 2012 13:43:16 -0400

I’ve lost track of time as to how long I’ve been on Hoth.

Oh, I can leave any time, technically.

Technically, the Republic has no authority to order me anywhere—well, they do, it’s more that they have no authority to make me accept.

Hoth really isn’t that terrible when it isn’t mid-day; it’s blinding at that point.
The cold, at this point, I can handle with proper equipment

Regardless, I suppose I could martyr myself, say no and deal with the hassle that would come from Tython, go elsewhere, or anything of that nature, however, I rather like the idea of people thinking that I’m a little off because I choose to stay on that forsaken planet.

…and I’d be lying if I said I didn’t enjoy the fact that Republic and Jedi presence there really does seem to bother the Sith to the point that they continue to send their own people. In that case, I suspect they’re sending the ones that they hope will freeze to death.

Dried lekku as an aphrodisiac?

Wed, 24 Oct 2012 15:13:00 -0400

Honestly, do people actually believe such things?

Rhetorical.

They obviously do or that grating Sith woman wouldn’t be finding people to buy her ‘supply’ and that Rattataki woman wouldn’t keep them on hand.

"You need something that looks a bit more majestic."

Fri, 12 Oct 2012 11:23:33 -0400

There are times that I’m certain some clothing is designed as a joke.

Most hats look something just shy of ridiculous on Twi’lek, even if we wrap our lekku.

This…

This thing has to be a joke. I’ve never seen anyone wearing it outside of a humorous situation.

I’m not a tall man by any means, but this thing hits the top of the door frames on my ship. What kind of person wears these sorts of things?

If by ‘majestic’, the helpful woman meant, ‘absolutely ridiculous’, she hit the mark.

The robes are nice though, even if the shoulder design is slightly odd; at least I don’t look quite so stick-thin in them.

Regardless, I am not wearing this hat. That sounds a bit petulant, I’m aware, but, really, I prefer to remain somewhat understated in terms of looks.

This is why my face is stuck this way.

Fri, 28 Sep 2012 14:44:37 -0400

In the past two weeks:

I have been somehow mistaken for a woman. Thrice. Not entirely sure how that happens, considering I have no physical characteristics of a woman, nor does my voice sound feminine.
I have been told that I’m ‘too emotional’ for Jedi for mentioning that Ilum’s climate was mildly unpleasant.
I have watched a group calling themselves the “true” Jedi Order do nothing but stand around the Temple, drink, and complain about how Jedi are ‘stupid’.
I have had to turn away at least three Initiates who were hoping to have me take them as a Padawan. Unfortunately, we aren’t Sith, and tend to stick to only one at a time for the benefit of the student.
I have been told that I’m ‘not emotional enough’ for not flying into a panic under ambush situations.
I have come across several different schematics for various hilts and crystals; that’s been quite enjoyable work.
I finally finished going over all of my tattoos again. Some were beginning to fade quite badly. The tattoos around my eyes I find most difficult to do on my own. However, that is what meditation techniques are for. Still, it’s quite painful.
I do need to remember to set some extra time aside for Ehlial; unfortunately, I also need to make certain that it doesn’t interfere with current commitments. My Padawan is important, of course, but certainly not more important than anyone else. Thankfully, he’s bright enough to understand that concept.
I managed to offend some man who assumed that, since I rebuffed advances by a couple of women, that I would not rebuff his. Evidently, he was under the impression that Jedi who refrained from physical entanglements were a myth. That did not really excuse him becoming angered when I told him I was not interested in ‘going back to his ship’. I’ve often wondered why people think becoming angry will make anyone change their mind; it’s a bit silly, really. I’m even less likely to go back to someone’s ship if they start shouting at and insulting me after an initial refusal.

This is why you're a bad influence, Onekel. :|

Thu, 13 Sep 2012 11:09:07 -0400

In a misguided attempt to capture Onekel, a one Jedi Master Areliun decided the best way to do that would be to capture Ehlial and use him as bait.

Even if I’d been consulted prior, I would have declined to be a part of such a ridiculous thing. One does not use other people as bait, especially if one is a Jedi Master.

Honestly, some people…

Aside from “on Nar Shaddaa”, I’ve got no idea where my Padawan is, though I am (quietly) searching. He is still able to communicate with me, and I can’t sense any distress from him, which tells me that this Master Areliun isn’t dangerous, just possibly dangerously misguided and motivated by—well, I don’t know what. I am aware that Onekel had been a bounty hunter prior to being discovered as Force sensitive and choosing to go with the Sith, so I can only imagine the trail of bodies and crimes in his wake.

Whatever he’s done is either severe or personal if it prompted a Jedi Master to use such questionable methods.

Onekel and I met on Nar Shaddaa, as he claims to want to help. His idea of help seems to be, “trash the moon until the Jedi pokes his head out.”

That—is not going to work. All that’s going to do is make life miserable (or lethal) for the poor citizens unfortunate enough to be in the Sith’s wake while he’s having his little temper tantrum. Never mind that it wouldn’t likely draw the Jedi out, and would hurt Ehlial quite deeply if he learned that people suffered because of him. Onekel was insisting that he wanted to do what he wanted to do for “Ehlial’s sake”; I told him if that were the case, he would allow me to handle the situation as his methods would only harm Ehlial.

I could not seem to get that point across to him; evidently existing in a state of near perpetual frustration and anger makes one a bit hard of hearing.

Instead, in the end—admittedly, it was a bit underhanded, but Onekel had mentioned who his Master was, so I contacted his Master to let him know that his apprentice had a very strange fixation on ‘rescuing’ a Padawan who did not require actual rescuing.

Oddly, I also found out that Ehlial is related to Darth Achai; interesting bit of trivia, but I doubt anything will come of it.

Regardless, Onekel’s Master must not have been pleased with this revelation and Onekel begrudgingly stepped back to allow me to go about extracting Ehlial using proper, non-violent, non-aggressive methods.

It was a bit of a gamble, I’m sure. Several times during our conversation, Onekel’s hands slid to his sabers and once he very nearly started to try and choke me. Self perservation (not to mention Cartel security and their ‘looks’) reminded him to keep his temper.

It’s so easy to make them angry, I don’t even have to try.

I just have to exist.

Oh, well, exist and not let them get their way all while remaining calm and non-violent.

I’m not certain if I find it disconcerting, depressing, or simply amusing that Onekel so quickly lashed out to take bait in an obvious trap.

Probably amusing.

It’s been awhile since I’ve spoken to Ehlial face to face. I really ought to remedy that...

Mon, 20 Aug 2012 12:50:06 -0400

It’s been awhile since I’ve spoken to Ehlial face to face.

I really ought to remedy that yet, at the same time, it’s good for him to get used to not always having his Master at his side for advice, for pulling him out of trouble—or even really for support.

At some point, he will need to learn to stand on his own, which will require me to keep a proper distance. Not so much that he would feel abandoned, but not so little that he would feel he could be careless as he’d know I’d be right there to swoop in and set things right.

For the time being, I’ve been present, yet not present.

He is traveling with two people who could be dreadful influences on a young Padawan, but he still holds himself with clarity and strength. To be entirely fair, one of the two is kept on an exceptionally short leash by me, but that is for everyone’s safety, considering man is a Force using supposed “ex-Sith” Pureblood who has no interest in becoming a Jedi.
The Council may have approved and may somewhat trust him and his story, but I do not; perhaps when Ehlial is a proper Knight, but even then, I would be wary.

I DO find myself hoping that when Ehlial is transitioned away from being a Padawan it is when he is ready and not due to his Master’s death. Given the current climate throughout the Galaxy, it may be more likely that it will be the latter.

Prompt 1: Teacher

Thu, 16 Aug 2012 15:47:00 -0400

(( For more details on where this excerpt came from, go ahead and read this post. ))

What an awful looking little man. Azi’xoss had met “Pureblood” Sith before; he knew what that species looked like and, even if he had not, he would have known this one was wrong. If the pale violet-pink skin, over what likely should have been a deep, vibrant red, and the calculating, nearly glowing red eyes hadn’t easily given that away, the fact that the man had introduced himself with the word “Darth” certainly would have.

Azi’xoss had known they’d fight; he wasn’t stupid, he’d goaded the Sith to come to a quiet, far off bit of an asteroid on purpose. The Sith, of course, had not disappointed, though Azi’xoss had to admit he was surprised that the man had come alone.

Regardless, that Sith wasn’t going anywhere. Not yet. Azix’oss held him several feet off of the ground, suspended and trapped by invisible bonds.

The Twi’lek had made it appear effortless. If the Sith had bothered, even for a moment, to stop thrashing about and shouting, he would have noticed that the concentration it took to hold him in suspension could easily have been broken.

One lekku fell over his slender shoulder as Azi’xoss tilted his head to watch his captive struggle. He smiled, not so much at his counterpart, but at the situation itself. This wasn’t something he’d have come to enjoy on his own. It wasn’t even something he’d approved of when he first seen his Master do it.

“You can use a Sith’s passion against it, Padawan,” Azi’xoss couldn’t see his Master’s face underneath the hood, but he could hear the smile in the man’s voice. The human kicked his feet up onto the table separating them.

“Master?” More of a prompt to continue than a question. Azi’xoss looked up from the crystal he’d been meditating over, clearly waiting for a response.

“Interrupted you, did I?” His Master laughed, “It’s a good trick to know though. You know emotion can be used to cloud judgement, of course; if you become good enough at reading others, you can use theirs to direct them however you wish.” He raised a hand to the Twi’lek, sensing the upcoming objection, “Not that I’m suggesting you do that on a regular basis, but when you’re up against something that uses fear, passion, anger—emotion in general—as its source of strength, you’ll find you’re able to guide them exactly to where you want them if you’re careful.”

“I don’t—” began Azi’xoss, only to be silenced by his Master’s head shaking.

“Agree? Think it’s proper?” his Master chuckled and stretched his arms behind his head, “It isn’t. You’ll find, once you’re away from the away from Coruscant, once your training with me has finished, that very few things are done properly.”

The human leaned forward to grab his drink from the table, and finally put his feet back on the floor where they belonged, “Well, that’s not entirely true: Very few things done successfully are done properly. There are things you can and cannot change or influence, our code, their code, or no code; it isn’t even a matter of adaptability.”

He grabbed his cup and took a far too large gulp for what would be considered proper in terms of drinking tea,”It’s a matter of control. Not theirs, and not their lack of it, it’s a matter of yours. You stay in control of your actions and reactions, and you stay in control of the encounter. You understand?”

Azix’oss supressed a look of disapproval at the fact that his Master was trying to drink and talk at the same time; it always made him make odd slurping noises. Nonetheless, it wouldn’t do any good to complain about his Master’s table manners (or lack thereof).

Instead, he simply nodded, “I do, Master.”

“Just what the HELL are you staring at, Twi’lek?” spat the Sith, his question snapping Azi’xoss back to the present, “Either put me down, kill me, or take me to—whatever it is you take Sith you’ve captured to. This is stupid.”

“It is a bit, isn’t it?” he stated as he lowered himself, tucking his legs beneath him half kneeling, half sitting on the asteroid’s surface.

“One or more of those options might be on the table, Bees—was it Bees? Darth Bees?”

Azix’oss’ expression remained entirely neutral, but the spark of amusement that lit his green eyes did not escape the captive Sith, who snarled a rather profane statement in response. Even without the verbal confirmation, he certainly felt the spike in emotion. Unwittingly, his captive had simply handed over control of the entire situation, not that Azix’oss was about to point that out.

Maker, no, it wouldn’t be kind to gloat.

…at least not to his face.

“It’s alright, I’m terrible with names anyway.” He shrugged and dug around in the pockets of his robes, eventually pulling out a vibrant blue crystal, “We’ll decide which option I choose once you’ve finished with your tantrum and are a bit more calm and rational.”

Setting the crystal down in front of him, he gave the stuck Sith an absolutely brilliant, sharp-toothed smile, “I’ve got all the time in the Galaxy, Sith, and I’m very patient.”

Evidently, it’s surprising to others to hear a Jedi speak in a manner that is anything but...

Mon, 30 Jul 2012 14:31:55 -0400

Evidently, it’s surprising to others to hear a Jedi speak in a manner that is anything but neutral and somewhat bored.

Regardless of my duty, Ilum is cold, and I don’t want to be there.

Of course, I will go about my assigned tasks on the planet without question and will succeed as I typically do, but I certainly don’t have to pretend that I’m elated to be there.

Occasionally, I forget that other people expect that “proper Jedi” are somehow on an emotional level with droids. It does entertain me to a degree, but, really, I don’t have the time to give the same correction over and over to everyone who makes that silly statement.

At least I haven’t been asked to dance (or worse, stars, the nerve of some people) recently.

That aside, my shift in focus has been coming along better than I could have hoped and I’m finding that my decades of—I don’t even want to call it fear, it was so ridiculous—regardless, it was unfounded, and I am still capable of mending.

It has had an odd side effect of leaving me feel more energetic somehow. That makes sense, though: Complacency and stagnation tend to wear on the body and mind after awhile.

Lately, I’ve been readjusting a few things in my life. Most of them are nothing substantial;...

Sun, 22 Jul 2012 12:52:27 -0400

Lately, I’ve been readjusting a few things in my life. Most of them are nothing substantial; rearranging the ship, cleaning out the cargo hold (Not to mention spending some time crafting crystals with a large box of small ones I’d apparently forgotten!) cleaning things I’ve been putting off cleaning, touching up some of my more faded tattoos. The ones around the eyes and at the tips of my lekku are always the worst. It’s good meditation practice, if nothing else.

I came to realize, at some point during all of that, that I’ve been in the same, largely unchanging routine for several decades now. That’s not necessarily a bad thing on the surface, but it came to me as I was working on a batch of crystals that I’ve inadvertently allowed a part of me to stagnate due to fear.

Not a silly thing such as fear of death or anything of that nature, it was something that I can now recall stemmed from my training as an Initiate and a Padawan. Destruction is a last resort, death of someone else is a last resort, indulging those too frequently would lead to a darker path if one was not exceptionally careful. That stuck with me, I thought, out of a desire to be helpful in a way that didn’t bring about manifestations of the Force that one might consider ‘harmful’ or destructive.

Perhaps, for a Padawan, that is a wise stance to take. Err on the side of caution and all of that, but I am no longer a Padawan. I haven’t been a Padawan for almost a quarter of a century. At some point being too cautious can be as detremental as being too headstrong and reckless, after all.

All that aside, I went back to Tython and began studying again; the looks I got from some of the Initiates—I don’t think they quite understood what I was doing or why, but did not want to bother a Master to ask. That is a pity, really, curiousity isn’t always a bad thing. Well, that, and nobody wants to be the vaguely unsettling old man in the library.

I studied the things I’d only glossed over as a student. It was easier now to put them into practice, of course, and I didn’t find myself nearly as apprehensive about their use in practice as I’d been about it in my mind.

Still, I find myself unsure as to whether it’s a wise move to shift focus from mending and repairing to—no, no, that’s simply ridiculous. I’m still fully capable of mending wounds, this is just an expansion of the skills I already possessed in terms of Force use.

That will all pass as I keep working at it and become more comfortable with some of the more destructive uses of the Force, I suppose.

I could blame that awful little Sith and the conversations we had while I held him up in the air until he calmed himself down enough to at least act like a rational person again. It might actually feel good to blame him, though that encounter was my fault; I really must not bait them so much.

Admittedly, I’ve been avoiding Ehlial for a bit. Thankfully, he’s been busy, but the last thing that poor kid needs is to see his Master in a—I’m not even sure what it is. State of transition? No, no, that sounds ridiculous, nothing is transitioning, I am simply dealing with a long standing, silly little fear that’d I’d either buried or forgotten. At my age and, at my rank, it’s just a bit ridiculous to still be so afraid of the dark, in a manner of speaking.

These are the sorts of times when I do wish my Master had not died during the Sacking of Coruscant.

And it’s thoughts like that that tell me I need to go and still my mind through meditation.

Or, I suppose, if I were more like what seems to be passing for Padawans these days, it would be a prompt to go to Nar Shaddaa, get blitzed out of my mind, and end up either dancing naked somewhere or wake up on the ship of someone I don’t know or remember.

Meditation it is.

That Bi’ev fellow from the open frequency finally decided he wanted to ‘come and see...

Mon, 09 Jul 2012 12:27:54 -0400

That Bi’ev fellow from the open frequency finally decided he wanted to ‘come and see me’. Of course, he meant he wanted to, very likely, kill me.

I’m confident enough in my own skills to not fear him (and, really, if I die, it’s the will of the Force that I rejoin it), but I do have to admit that he’s a bit tougher than I’d figured. Fortunately, what he can damage, I can repair, and we appear to have fairly similar thresholds of tolerance.

He attacked me, as I expected he would, and I simply endured (and may have hit him in the face with a rock or two, purely by accident, of course) until I’d had enough of him. I suspect he was looking for a reaction other than calm out of me, and the more I refused to grant it, the more insistent he became.

He escaped my lifting of him several times, and all it seemed to do was irritate him, but eventually, I think he realized that I was not about to put him down until he could pretend to be a rational person again. During the time he spat insults and occasional lighting at me, I realized that it seems to take older Sith a very long time to settle down once they’re all worked up.

We actually had quite a nice chat about philosophy, the various codes and interpretations, and apprentices—or, in my case, my Padawan, while he was up there. I did eventually have to let him down; gets tiring to suspend someone like that and still deflect an attack now and then and I had no way to transport him safely or call for a transport.

The Sith isn’t stupid, he’d seen to that as part of the terms. I—hate to admit it, but I was surprised when he followed his own terms as well and didn’t appear to have any active communication channels available.

And, of course, he used his new found freedom to knock me down and incapacitate me. He could have killed me, but he walked away instead. Guess he just wanted the last ‘word’ in the fight.
I’d forgotten how unpleasant Force lighting is. I may take a few days off to recover.

Elihu managed to get himself right back into trouble after deciding he wanted to leave Tython and...

Sat, 23 Jun 2012 12:59:20 -0400

Elihu managed to get himself right back into trouble after deciding he wanted to leave Tython and my, of course, allowing him to do so.

Lost his lightsaber, or so he says; I suspect he sold it for spice, but that’s beside the point.

I travelled to Nar Shaddaa to assist him in either finding it or getting a new one, and he insisted that I give him mine. Clearly, that was not a viable option. Elihu moved from confidence, to appearing as a frightened child, and when none of that really worked, he tried to rob me.

It’s rare that I ever am all that aware of my lekku, they simply exist, I’ve had them for the vast majority of my life, but they’re also a bit of a ‘weak’ point when it comes to combat; they’re quite easy to injure. Elihu knows this, of course, and when he tried to rob me, he started with an attempt to momentarily stun me by digging his fingers into my lekku and both squeezing and pulling as hard as he could.

That was quite painful, there is no denying that, however, I’m well conditioned to have very little outward response to pain, if at all possible. We ended up in a proper fight, though I didn’t use my lightsaber at all; Elihu is a child, and he was unarmed, save for the Force.

Which he was using.

I think I still have debris in one of my ears.

Ended up knocking him over and holding him in place using the Force until he’d calmed to the point that he wasn’t in a blind rage. I can’t say it was even a proper fight; Elihu is skilled, of course, he’s had some measure of training, but I have several decades of it on him and only let him drag it out so he could expend some of his energy.

After I’d mended the minor bruises and cuts that both he and I had received, he agreed to let me help him look for his lightsabaer. That was, as I suspected, an excuse to go to the Slippery Slopes for him. On the way, I suggested that, perhaps, I could work with him in the construction of a new lightsaber. I’m well versed on the topic, and Elihu has some interest in it (mainly in the crystals) as well.

At the Slopes, the first thing he did was scramble up to a small group of spacers with a sob story of “this Twi’lek stalking him”. Me, obviously. *The datapad seems to have transcribed a mildly exasperated sigh*

Not wanting a confrontation, and seeing clearly that the spacers were willing to oblige what they saw to be an ‘easy job’ in terms of chasing me off, I simply told Elihu that I did not wish to cause him distress, he knew where my ship was docked and was welcome to return there if he wished, and turned to leave.

Made it just outside the door before he caught up with me, and he was quite upset. Not angry or resentful, genuinely upset. The poor kid ended up clinging to me; it was difficult to understand most of what he was saying, mainly due to the face that he was trying to speak through nearly sobbing (As an aside, one of the most awkward places to have a child clinging to one’s person and sobbing is at the entrance to a cantina on Nar Shaddaa—I shudder to think of what some of the passers by thought was going on when they saw a sobbing, young Miraluka clinging to a middle-aged Twi’lek Jedi.). I did mange to understand a few things, chief one being that he does not know how to respond to someone who genuinely does not want to see him fail or be harmed.

Once Elihu regained control of himself, he also mentioned that he hadn’t slept properly in several days. More than likely, he meant several weeks, but there was no point in arguing that. Lack of sleep (not to mention lack of food) seems to be what drove him to act out in the way that he did.

He agreed to return to my ship if I promised that I wasn’t going to try to return him to Tython. I assured him that I wasn’t, as Jedi are not Sith, and reminded him that he did not have to spend his life on Nar Shaddaa. For the time being, Elihu is back on my ship. He finally got something decent to eat, and is still sleeping.

When he wakes up, we’ll see about starting on construction of a new lightsaber.

Ehlial truly has no idea how grateful I am that he is the way that he is.

Ow.

Wed, 13 Jun 2012 10:20:00 -0400

My lekku are killing me.

Not literally, of course; they just feel horribly bruised and the Force can only heal so much at one time.

Elihu tends to grab them when he gets nervous or tired, and when he’s nervous he occasionally twists them or pulls on them rather hard. If it is a reaction that he’s going for, he doesn’t get it beyond a, “That hurts, please don’t do it.”

To his credit, he does stop if that’s the case, but, really, who tries to braid and tie off lekku?

Elihu decided that he wanted to go and try to find Sanderson.

On Nar Shaddaa.

We went with stipulations: He was not allowed to take weapons, not even a training sword, no alcohol, no spice, and he had to stay near me the entire time, mainly because I didn’t much want to try and chase that kid all over the Promenade.

Of course, the most obvious place to start was the Slippery Slopes. Elihu seemed to know a few of the Sith there, which isn’t surprising. The woman was just—irritating, but then, I suppose she was trying to get under my skin. The other man was decent enough conversation, despite Elihu trying to convince him to punch me in the face for reasons unknown.

Over at one of the side bars, a Sith and Jedi couple (evidently) were going on and on and ON about how they ‘needed to be more careful’ and ‘keep their relationship secret’ because nobody would ever approve. Seemed a bit dense of them to be discussing that loudly in a cantina of mixed company. I had thought about pointing that out, but decided it wouldn’t be worth the hassle; it seemed like they were not-so-subtly angling for attention anyway.

At one point, a group of Mandalorians came in to the cantina as well. Loud, obnoxious, drinking, but, really, that’s to be expected in a cantina. Elihu seemed to think they were talking about me when one of them started going on about someone in the room being a ‘flaming obvious homosexual’. I suppose they’re allowed to think what they wish; I had, and still have, no interest in associating with drunk Mandalorians, even in neutral space.

The first Sith woman Elihu questioned about Sanderson ended up taking four credits from Elihu to ‘distract me’ so he could run off. Her method of distraction was to lick her finger and stick it in my ear—not so much distracting as it was unhygeinic. Regardless, I knew Elihu planned on running off when she did that, as he’d verbatim said so. The kid didn’t run far, just out to the entryway, and tried hiding behind some Sith.

The Sith in question, at least, had a decent sense of humor about it. Mid-conversation there, a Darth who apparently knew Elihu (and the Sith to whom we were speaking; she called him Master) showed up. That—did not end well. Elihu darted behind me and started YANKING on my lekku repeating over and over that we had to leave immediately. I assume it was on account of the newly arrived Darth, even though he didn’t say a word to Elihu.

On the plus side, I suppose I don’t need to worry about Elihu trying to go to Nar Shaddaa on his own; he seemed properly terrified by that Darth.

I doubt it even registered to the group of Sith in the entryway that I was a Jedi. I’m certain that I appeared to be more of a harried nursemaid.

I fully stand by the statement I made to a small group of young Jedi in the cantina: If I had hair, it would likely be turning white or falling out in clumps. Possibly both.

It’s not a complaint, however; it’s never a good thing to become complacent, and the fact that Ehlial is so—not easy, but so innately skilled with anything he’s set to task, it’s made me a bit lazy, I think.

That said, I plan to spend my day resting and meditating.

There are times when I get the distinct impression that Elihu does the bulk of whathe does in an...

Mon, 11 Jun 2012 11:11:00 -0400

There are times when I get the distinct impression that Elihu does the bulk of whathe does in an attempt to get a rise out of me.

Such a shame that tacitc will not have the effect he wants.

Elihu does have peculiar habits that I’ve noticed; primarily, there are three reasons that cause him to grab at my lekku:

He is tired. That sounds strange, but it’s frequent; if he’s around when it’s late, he’ll start poking the back of my neck with the tips of my own lekku. So far, that’s been his indication that he’s tired and wants to go back to the ship, but doesn’t want to go alone.
He is nervous. That has come into play when there are groups of people around; he will duck behind me and fidget with my lekku.
I’m not sure whether to term this bored or trying to get attention; could be both. It seems that, if he feels he’s not getting the attention that he wants out of a conversation or social situation, that he’ll resort to trying to get me to focus on him by pulling rather hard on them. What a pity that I have a high pain tolerance and a rather well practiced ability to ignore that sort of behavior. Eventually, if attention seeking is the goal, he gives up when it does not happen.

In terms of physical age, Elihu is roughly the same as Ehlial.

In terms of maturity, Elihu is still very much a child.

Elihu mentioned wanting to go to Alpheridies; Ehlial has mentioned it as well. Perhaps it would be beneficial to arrange for the two of them to visit.

Speaking of Ehlial, he managed to injure his leg when he allowed emotion to overtake reason during one of his lessons. He had been working on a ritual that required a good deal of concentration when a friend of his approached. Ehilal allowed the excitement of seeing an old friend overcome his concentration, which caused him to fall. He was healed to the point that he is not in danger, but not completely, in order to allow the injury itself to serve as a reminder of the dangers of allowing emotion to overtake one’s thought process.

That was some time ago, however, and Ehlial has been well enough to travel and train again.

Yay, Rambling Jedi.

Fri, 08 Jun 2012 11:16:00 -0400

There are times when I suspect I’ve managed to get in over my head but, what’s life without challenges, yes?

Ehlial is finally showing his age; he tries to to hide his inexperience, tries to appear to be what would (on the surface) be a model Jedi, but he is still very much a student, and very much a child. It’s caused him to lose his concentration and fail at things he’s been attempting. I do not consider it a bad thing, failure and recovery from failure are important lessons to learn, even if he doesn’t fully understand why just yet.

Many of Ehlial’s insecurities are manifesting themselves as lapses in concentration during training, and jealousy of Jude; he tries to hide it, but it is rather obvious to me. It’s to be expected, really, Ehlial is used to having what he thought was my undivided attention, and now he’s being made to share it. He allowed himself to believe that I held him in higher regard or higher priority, which is simply not the case. Jedi take great care not to elevate one person above another, after all.

Ehlial is my Padawan and my first priority where training is concerned, of course, but he is not my only focus.

And Jude—Jude is, without doubt, the most frustrating person I’ve ever met. Much of what he does, I’m certain he does on purpose, just to attempt to get a rise out of people around him. I do not and will not grant him that, which only makes him try harder. I think he’s figured out that he can’t do much to me, and is now re-targeting and closing in on my Padawan. So far, he’s only tried to convince Ehlial that he should be smoking galaxy-knows-what, and Ehlial has declined as it’s not something he wished to do, but I can only imagine that Jude will step up his attempts.

I don’t quite yet know if he’s hoping to get a rise out of me by harassing Ehlial, or if he’s trying to turn Ehlial into another version of him, but I have no doubt that he will not be able to reach either goal.

Jude may also be attempting to drive me off, or cause me to react to him the same way his last three Masters did the moment he became difficult. I can clearly recall him telling me that I’d “drop him” within a couple of weeks, as everyone prior had. For all of Jude’s complaints, tantrums, loud, shouting bouts of inanity (and he does say some very inane things now and again), he has made no headway against me, and I’ve noticed him ever so slightly starting to settle down and get himself back to where he needs to be.

It’s rare, and it’s only in brief glimpses, but nobody ever really expects change to happen quickly, especially where people are concerned.

I don’t expect that I can somehow “fix” Jude; he has to want that for himself.

I also hold no delusions that any changes Jude chooses to make for the better will take place overnight, or even in a few weeks. There are times when he speaks out of frustration and will claim that he doesn’t want to—I’m not sure what, doesn’t want to do anything, I suppose, and yet, he remains.

That is telling.

I did have to take his comm unit from him after he insisted on trying to corner and call out Tormin. I can’t say I disagree with anything he said about that man, or that I necessarily have even the slightest shred of respect for Tormin, but that is still not appropriate behavior for a public comm channel. Whatever Tormin has done, he will have to live with for the rest of his life (Though, for the life of me, I cannot understand why they’d keep giving him female padawans when he’s proven that he can’t be trusted around young women.), and will have to deal with the consequences of those actions.

Jude also tried the same thing with—he kept calling the guy “Earlatus”, but I’m fairly certain it’s Areliatus. The same thing applies: Whatever he’s done, he’s done, and will have to live with the consequences of his actions. Harassing him about it does not change anything.

That aside, I’d be lying if I said I didn’t take some satisfaction in seeing them try to scramble and explain themselves. That’s a bit inappropriate of me, and is something I’ll need to meditate on later.

Regardless, I took his comm unit and will give it back when he can behave himself.

On that note, I’ve evidently put Jude off of Twi’lek. That isn’t a bad thing.

I’m not entirely certain why, but it seems that most people I’ve met find the fact that lekku move to be disconcerting or somehow ‘gross’.

Jude asked if I could move mine. I explained to him how they’re used for speech between Twi’lek, with or without verbal accompaniment. He asked to see it, so I showed him. Though it isn’t necessarily relevant, all I did was greet him. Another Twi’lek would have recognized it, but all Jude saw, of course, was the things on the back of my head twitching.

He had some sort of—I’m not sure what, I suspect he was overacting to a great degree, just to see if I’d react. Evidently, he found the idea of lekku moving being ‘sickening’. It’s not as though they move much; the movements themselves are quite subtle, it looks a bit like twitching to anyone who isn’t aware of the ability.

I did explain to Jude that it’s why many Twi’lek slaves have their lekku bound: Keeps them from communicating with other slaves in a way that their handlers can’t understand. That didnt’ seem to calm him down at all, it only got him worked up even more. He started demanding that I drop him off on Nar Shaddaa so he could ‘drink until he forgot’ that lekku can move. I refused, of course, and told him to go to his quarters on the ship and meditate for awhile. Moved the ship up into orbit so he couldn’t dash off and hide somewhere on Tython and, obviously, the ship’s controls were locked and comms on my frequency over so he couldn’t harass the rest of the galaxy.