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I find myself worrying about Ehlial more than I ought to; some of the people he associates with, while not inherently dangerous on the surface, could prove problematic if I am not careful to provide my padawan with continuing guidance.

That, of course, will require that I somehow manage to be granted authorization to leave Ilum on a more permanent basis.

No matter, I’ll meditate on that later.

Ehlial accompanied me on what was supposed to be  a small, relatively routine, sort of outing. It, unfortunately, turned violent; a rather large, angry Wookiee took issue with us and attacked. I had hoped that the first time Ehlial had to see me in ‘combat’ would be under more controlled circumstances and not in actual combat, but we can’t always get what we want, can we?

He told me that he was impressed with how calm and collected I was and, though that is quite a compliment, I reminded him to make certain that he didn’t allow it to become a focal point, especially since he specializes more in lightsaber combat. One rarely appears calm when using a pair of lightsabers, even if one is inwardly calm. It’s rare that I have to move much in combat. To those not used to seeing a Jedi rely primarily on the Force over a lightsaber, it does appear as though I’m hardly moving; it’s not nearly the first time someone has commented that they find me a calming, serene presence on the field.

My hope is that, with continued training, Ehlial will become skilled to the point that he will have the same effect on those around him, even if he does have a pair of lightsabers out.

That aside, the Rakghoul epidemic appears to be spreading; I keep vaccinations on hand but, as I cannot simply abandon my work on Ilum, I feel that I am not being as useful as would otherwise be possible.

For as much as I may tire of being asked if I am or was a slave, dancer, ‘entertainer’, or what have you, it never quite reaches the level of mild annoyance that hearing, “Jedi are emotionless droids” manages to hit.

I understand from where the former comes. I am, after all, Twi’lek, and it is most common to see others of my kind in positions of, well, slavery, dancing, ‘entertaining’, or something otherwise borderline criminal.
I know this and accept this, and am not offended by the misconceptions or assumptions of others, though I would think that the robes and lightsaber would give them a bit of a hint.

Still, I cannot fault them for making a presumption that is, more often than not, true of Twi’lek.

To a degree, I understand how those outside the Order might get the mistaken impression that Jedi are “emotionless”. Many people, whether they’re aware of it or not, make a good portion of their decisions based on emotion, which is fickle, and can be dangerous. Jedi—it’s inaccurate to say that we do not, we are people, after all, and prone to having missteps now and again, but we do try to remove personal emotion from the equation in terms of decision making.
Many times, poor choices are made, as the cliche goes, ‘in the heat of the moment’; to put that another way, poor choices tend to be made based on emotion, and not logical, rational thought. 

Emotional attachments, which everyone has to some degree (Jedi or not), can also be a dangerous influence on decision making, which is why we’re meant to keep them from forming in the first place.
It allows to make a decision based on logic and rationality. In that sense, I suppose a droid comparison is apt, however it does not mean that we are emotionless or void of feeling. 

That, I’ve always believed, is impossible to do completely. There will always be some level of attachment to those with whom one works closely. Masters are frequently attached, at least to the degree of being protective of, their own Padawan. The reverse is often true. 
I’ve often thought that that level of attachment has been overlooked or disregarded as it’s entirely impossible to do away with when one is working with sentient beings over droids—and even then, I’ve seen droids with modules installed that allow them some level of attachment and loyalty to their fellow droids.
In that sort of case, it seems to be more a matter of controlling the level of control that attachment is able to exert over one’s self than anything else. 

When I hear Initiates or, worse, Padwans or even those who have been granted the title of Jedi speak about how they feel Jedi are emotionless, droids, ‘dead’, and things of that nature, I will admit that it does sting; my first, base reaction, is to correct them rather harshly. Fortunately, I am more than capable of not reacting in such an inappropriate manner, and either gently correct the misconception or simply let it slide.

We are people.
We do have emotions, we simply strive to keep them in check so they don’t overrun our lives and decision making processes. 

Lately, Ehlial has reminded me of how difficult I found my own training.

That is, perhaps, a bit of an overstatement as, looking back, I can’t say it was actually difficult. I suppose that view comes from having started training as a young child whereas Ehlial was a bit older. Regardless, Ehlial isn’t quite yet seventeen, and I can still clearly recall everything seeming not only difficult but much more—intense—than it actually was, looking back.

It’s not his physical abilities or abilities with the Force that concern me, it’s more that he’s had so little experience outside of his own upbringing and off of Tython; to that end, I arranged for a particularly—obnoxious—Twi’lek to accompany him when I cannot.

Ixo’diz is harmless, at least to me and to Ehlial, but has a talent for getting under one’s skin.
He’s been doing a decent job of pushing Ehlial’s patience to its limit. So far, he hasn’t gone past that limit, but he’s come close. He’s also reported back to me that Ehlial has been getting better and better at dealing with things that happen that may go against the Code.

And there are a lot of them.

Shooting an unarmed, bested through fair combat, man who said he’d surrender in the face comes to mind.

When I first heard of the incident, I have to admit to being taken aback (at least momentarily). However, the justification given, by Ixo’diz of course, did make sense in terms of how he thinks. There were two people who contracted the job: One was a local person of some note, and her orders were execution.

The other was a Republic military official who requested, but did not order, an arrest.

In his mind, the contract was made with the noble, and her stipulation for successful completion of the contract was an execution of the man in question, not an arrest.

While I certainly do not agree with Ixo’diz’s rationale, I am also aware that he is not part of the Order and is not bound to its rules. The incident was, as I’d originally planned, an excellent opportunity for Ehlial to learn first hand what “There is no chaos, there is harmony.” actually means. The situation was, as I understand, quite chaotic, and my padawan kept his mind clear and did not act or react based on the base emotional response that Ixo’diz’s actions initially caused.

Ixo’diz mentioned to me that his ‘aura’ was gray, according to Ehlial. 
I cannot say for certain that it’s true, as I don’t see the way a Miraluka sees, though based on Ixo’diz’s actions, I would strongly suspect that it’s accurate.
That Twi’lek’s behavior surprises me more often than not.