ಠ_ಠ

Things that do irritate me typically have good reason for it.

In this case, it was a nearly mob-like behavior toward my Padawan from other Jedi.

I will grant that a handful were simply discussing Juyo form in general, and were not directing their conversation directly at him, and at least one of the people speaking tried to remind the others that they were addressing a Padawan in a very aggressive manner though, unfortunately, it didn’t seem many heard her.

The others, including Geviana (which was disappointing) directed specific statements at Ehlial, informing him that he had a Master ranging from irresponsible to stupid to downright awful, that he was going to (not that there was a risk, that it was an almost guaranteed fact) fall to the Dark side if he continued, and left him with the impression that his opinion on the matter did NOT matter because he is only a Padawan.

They may not have said that directly, but the few times he tried to defend himself or suggest that his Master wouldn’t allow the training if he felt there was an unreasonable risk, he was shouted down.

I don’t mind what was said in regards to me; I am an adult and a Jedi Master, and they’re entitled to form whatever opinions they have of me based on either fact or facts they just made up.

I do mind when supposed Jedi Knights and Masters nearly gang up on a Padawan who did nothing but try to join in in an ongoing discussion about various lightsaber forms.

That behavior is unacceptable from anyone, but especially so from Jedi.

They lash out based on fear of a lightsaber form that requires more control and ability to detach from allowing emotions to have a personal affect than most people are capable of doing; that fear is, unfortunately, instilled as part of the warnings when it comes to learning lightsaber forms, and it tends to manifest itself in perceived ‘anger’ toward people who use it successfully.

A combination of fear of what would happen if they tried and jealousy and resentment that someone they don’t feel should be successful (in this case, a Padawan) at something they themselves weren’t strong enough to be successful with and—I spend the past two days between myself and Al’dien helping Ehlial rebuild his shaken confidence in himself and in other Jedi.

Geviana, at least, had the good sense to apologize for her behavior toward Ehlial once she managed to calm herself. 

Perhaps it’s not irritation I’m experiencing so much as it is profound disappointment.

“Master Azi’xoss.” Bi’ev bowed stiffly, the motion as forced as the pleasant tone of his greeting.

‘Don’t say Darth Bees. Don’t say Darth Bees.’ The thought alone caused Azi’xoss to smile. It just so happened that he’d been lucky enough to have the timing coincide with the Sith’s clipped greeting, “Darth Aculaetus. Always a pleasure, I’m sure.”

Azi’xoss was  not entirely certain why Bi’ev had asked to meet with him, though he fully understood the implication of meeting on Voss and in the center of Voss-Ka. 

No hostilities. 

Almost a pity, their last encounter had been, from Azi’xoss’ point of view, highly entertaining and ending with Bi’ev being stuck in the air until long after Azi’xoss had left the abandoned mining facility. He wouldn’t be able to get away with that sort of thing here; not without infuriating the Voss and causing a massive headache (not to mention strategic loss) for the Republic. The thought that the Sith would be operating under the same restrictions left Azi’xoss with very little trepidation over the requested meeting.

Besides, you don’t meet someone you plan to murder in a tea house. Usually.

“Bi’ev, please.”
The Pureblood forced a smile, “After all, this is a friendly meeting, is it not? No need for formalities.” He turned aside, motioning for Azi’xoss to enter the teahouse first. The Twi’lek brushed past him, bowing slightly as he did so.

Bi’ev couldn’t tell for certain if the Twi’lek’s expression had shifted from—anything, really. He wasn’t clear as to whether it was just the Jedi’s face or the tattooing around his eyes and mouth that made him appear perpetually vaguely irritated, even if he was smiling, by everything around him or if that was simply how his face actually appeared. Regardless, he couldn’t sense any actual anger or irritation coming from the Jedi, everything almost shrieked placid to the point that it didn’t even bother Bi’ev that something placid wouldn’t bother shrieking to begin with. Perhaps it was just his face.

Bi’ev shook his head slightly, following Azi’xoss to an empty table, “You had me in the position of an easy kill or capture and walked away. Why?” He kept his voice low, not wanting to cause any sort of disturbance in a Voss teahouse, though the undercurrent of the words rang clear.

“You were subdued.” The Twi’lek’s shoulders rolled in a lazy shrug as he settled down onto the cushions around the table, “Jedi do not kill a subdued foe.”

Bi’ev snorted and had to catch himself to keep from rolling his eyes, “Please—that’s hardly true, and we both know it.” He sunk down onto his own cushions, glowering at the table rather than across it for the moment, “And no capture. I can’t imagine your superiors were pleased about that, especially since it would have been so easy.”

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…made to sit and meditate on what they’ve done.

While I sneak out there and set off a batch right behind them.

I swear, I’ve lost hearing in one ear.
For the moment, I’ll assume it’s temporary.

I know it isn’t necessarily inappropriate to laugh but, really, when faced with a large crowd making announcements of how they’ve dissolved the Council and will be re-forming it within fourteen days, what other reaction is there that is appropriate?

My padawan, myself, a Corelllian Jedi named Gevi, and a mouthy initiate who goes by Vrek stood and watched for some time.

The group has some odd notions about the Jedi in general; evidently your lightsaber’s crystal color determines your path of study. I’m not entirely sure what that says about mine, considering it’s nearly pink. Magenta, if you’re in marketing. Pink if you’re simply not colorblind.

What’s more, they couldn’t keep it straight. The man who appeared to be in charge, told one Initiate that the color for “her path”, which she said was that of a Sage, was yellow. Not five minutes later, he told another who said the same thing that his color was purple, and yet another that theirs was blue.

In retrospect, we probably ought to have intervened; it can’t be good for those initiates to be sucked into a false ‘order’ like that. On the other hand, they were on Tython and it’s very possible that what was going on was some sort of test to weed out the exceptionally gullible initiates in this batch.

After we moved inside, Gevi and Vrek—it wasn’t even a conversation, it was mutual complaining between the two of them about how inane they think the Order is, then flipping back to how they didn’t mean it that way, whatever that means. Both of them have far too little control over their own emotional states to be useful as Jedi. She has unnatural attachments to droids, from what I can tall, and he gets angry if he’s even mildly frustrated. Yet, of course, the problem isn’t with them, STARS NO, it couldn’t be, they’re perfect in their own minds; no, no, the problem is, of course, the Order.

It makes me thankful that I have a Padawan who has some level of self-awareness and realizes that his failures are his failures and not a failure of the Order itself.

Mm.

Speaking of, I need to have a word with that Master Al’dien about—well,  many things, based on my first impression of him, but mainly to ensure that he keeps his training to saber technique only and doesn’t try to impart whatever perverse interpretation of the code he has that allows him what I swear are inappropriate attachments to other people. He and that red Twi’lek were far, far too nervous in the presence of another Jedi Master (not to mention far too eager to leave as a pair), in this case myself, to not have an inappropriate attachment that ought to be severed for Master Al’dien’s own well being. I certainly don’t want a Jedi of that sort, who believes they’re somehow unique or special enough that they can pick and choose which parts of the Code to follow, trying to impart that philosophy onto my Padawan.

Of course, it won’t be worded that way. It would be incredibly stupid of me to word it that way.

I’ve had the chance, recently, to get away from Hoth and catch up with my Padawan. I do hope he doesn’t feel he’s being neglected.

Regardless, we met on the Fleet, where he was in conversation with a couple of other people. Some young man who continually kept his hair in his eyes—far too tempting to tell him to get it cut or tie it back. Honestly…how does he even see to aim those blasters properly with all that hair in his face?

The other person present was a Lethan Twi’lek man, who seemed friendly, if a bit—uncomfortable around me. I never think of myself as the sort that would make someone else uncomfortable, especially since, physically, there is nothing to suggest it. Ah well, some get nervous around Jedi, I suppose.

Speaking of, another Jedi Master joined us, briefly, but left with the Twi’lek. I do hope nothing inappropriate is going on there; a Jedi should know better, after all.

Ehlial, as usual, had dozens of questions, very few of which were appropriate for discussion in a cantina. Many related to ‘issues’ he had heard of other Jedi having, wondering if he was somehow abnormal for not struggling with attachments. He may be lucky, in that regard, or he may simply be stronger and better trained than a good many of his (and my) peers.

I’ve lost track of time as to how long I’ve been on Hoth.

Oh, I can leave any time, technically.

Technically, the Republic has no authority to order me anywhere—well, they do, it’s more that they have no authority to make me accept.

Hoth really isn’t that terrible when it isn’t mid-day; it’s blinding at that point. 
The cold, at this point, I can handle with proper equipment 

Regardless, I suppose I could martyr myself, say no and deal with the hassle that would come from Tython, go elsewhere, or anything of that nature, however, I rather like the idea of people thinking that I’m a little off because I choose to stay on that forsaken planet.

…and I’d be lying if I said I didn’t enjoy the fact that Republic and Jedi presence there really does seem to bother the Sith to the point that they continue to send their own people. In that case, I suspect they’re sending the ones that they hope will freeze to death.

There are times that I’m certain some clothing is designed as a joke.

Most hats look something just shy of ridiculous on Twi’lek, even if we wrap our lekku.

This…

This thing has to be a joke. I’ve never seen anyone wearing it outside of a humorous situation.

I’m not a tall man by any means, but this thing hits the top of the door frames on my ship. What kind of person wears these sorts of things?

If by ‘majestic’, the helpful woman meant, ‘absolutely ridiculous’, she hit the mark.

The robes are nice though, even if the shoulder design is slightly odd; at least I don’t look quite so stick-thin in them.

Regardless, I am not wearing this hat. That sounds a bit petulant,  I’m aware, but, really, I prefer to remain somewhat understated in terms of looks.

In the past two weeks:

1. I have been somehow mistaken for a woman. Thrice. Not entirely sure how that happens, considering I have no physical characteristics of a woman, nor does my voice sound feminine.
2. I have been told that I’m ‘too emotional’ for Jedi for mentioning that Ilum’s climate was mildly unpleasant.
3. I have watched a group calling themselves the “true” Jedi Order do nothing but stand around the Temple, drink, and complain about how Jedi are ‘stupid’.
4. I have had to turn away at least three Initiates who were hoping to have me take them as a Padawan. Unfortunately, we aren’t Sith, and tend to stick to only one at a time for the benefit of the student.
5. I have been told that I’m ‘not emotional enough’ for not flying into a panic under ambush situations.
6. I have come across several different schematics for various hilts and crystals; that’s been quite enjoyable work.
7. I finally finished going over all of my tattoos again. Some were beginning to fade quite badly. The tattoos around my eyes I find most difficult to do on my own. However, that is what meditation techniques are for. Still, it’s quite painful.
8. I do need to remember to set some extra time aside for Ehlial; unfortunately, I also need to make certain that it doesn’t interfere with current commitments. My Padawan is important, of course, but certainly not more important than anyone else. Thankfully, he’s bright enough to understand that concept.
9. I managed to offend some man who assumed that, since I rebuffed advances by a couple of women, that I would not rebuff his. Evidently, he was under the impression that Jedi who refrained from physical entanglements were a myth. That did not really excuse him becoming angered when I told him I was not interested in ‘going back to his ship’.  I’ve often wondered why people think becoming angry will make anyone change their mind; it’s a bit silly, really. I’m even less likely to go back to someone’s ship if they start shouting at and insulting me after an initial refusal.

In a misguided attempt to capture Onekel, a one Jedi Master Areliun decided the best way to do that would be to capture Ehlial and use him as bait.

Even if I’d been consulted prior, I would have declined to be a part of such a ridiculous thing. One does not use other people as bait, especially if one is a Jedi Master.

Honestly, some people…

Aside from “on Nar Shaddaa”, I’ve got no idea where my Padawan is, though I am (quietly) searching. He is still able to communicate with me, and I can’t sense any distress from him, which tells me that this Master Areliun isn’t dangerous, just possibly dangerously misguided and motivated by—well, I don’t know what. I am aware that Onekel had been a bounty hunter prior to being discovered as Force sensitive and choosing to go with the Sith, so I can only imagine the trail of bodies and crimes in his wake.

Whatever he’s done is either severe or personal if it prompted a Jedi Master to use such questionable methods.

Onekel and I met on Nar Shaddaa, as he claims to want to help. His idea of help seems to be, “trash the moon until the Jedi pokes his head out.”

That—is not going to work. All that’s going to do is make life miserable (or lethal) for the poor citizens unfortunate enough to be in the Sith’s wake while he’s having his little temper tantrum. Never mind that it wouldn’t likely draw the Jedi out, and would hurt Ehlial quite deeply if he learned that people suffered because of him. Onekel was insisting that he wanted to do what he wanted to do for “Ehlial’s sake”; I told him if that were the case, he would allow me to handle the situation as his methods would only harm Ehlial.

I could not seem to get that point across to him; evidently existing in a state of near perpetual frustration and anger makes one a bit hard of hearing.

Instead, in the end—admittedly, it was a bit underhanded, but Onekel had mentioned who his Master was, so I contacted his Master to let him know that his apprentice had a very strange fixation on ‘rescuing’ a Padawan who did not require actual rescuing. 

Oddly, I also found out that Ehlial is related to Darth Achai; interesting bit of trivia, but I doubt anything will come of it.

Regardless, Onekel’s Master must not have been pleased with this revelation and Onekel begrudgingly stepped back to allow me to go about extracting Ehlial using proper, non-violent, non-aggressive methods.

It was a bit of a gamble, I’m sure. Several times during our conversation, Onekel’s hands slid to his sabers and once he very nearly started to try and choke me. Self perservation (not to mention Cartel security and their ‘looks’) reminded him to keep his temper. 

It’s so easy to make them angry, I don’t even have to try. 

I just have to exist.

Oh, well, exist and not let them get their way all while remaining calm and non-violent.

I’m not certain if I find it disconcerting, depressing, or simply amusing that Onekel so quickly lashed out to take bait in an obvious trap.

Probably amusing.

It’s been awhile since I’ve spoken to Ehlial face to face.

I really ought to remedy that yet, at the same time, it’s good for him to get used to not always having his Master at his side for advice, for pulling him out of trouble—or even really for support.

At some point, he will need to learn to stand on his own, which will require me to keep a proper distance. Not so much that he would feel abandoned, but not so little that he would feel he could be careless as he’d know I’d be right there to swoop in and set things right.

For the time being, I’ve been present, yet not present.

He is traveling with two people who could be dreadful influences on a young Padawan, but he still holds himself with clarity and strength. To be entirely fair, one of the two is kept on an exceptionally short leash by me, but that is for everyone’s safety, considering man is a Force using supposed “ex-Sith” Pureblood who has no interest in becoming a Jedi.
The Council may have approved and may somewhat trust him and his story, but I do not; perhaps when Ehlial is a proper Knight, but even then, I would be wary.

I DO find myself hoping that when Ehlial is transitioned away from being a Padawan it is when he is ready and not due to his Master’s death. Given the current climate throughout the Galaxy, it may be more likely that it will be the latter.